Curiosity Continuum

Brian shares the emotionally candid essay that he submitted as part of his application for his trip to Seoul, South Korea.

THE ESSAY

Korea – An Unfamiliar Place, Deep Within My Heart

My story, like many Korean adoptees of the 1980s, started with an orphanage, Korean foster care, and a plane ride before arriving stateside in the USA.

I grew up as a Korean adoptee in a small town in central Minnesota, as the only child in the family to older parents. Both my parents were the youngest of their siblings, and the timing of my adoption meant I was years younger than all my first cousins, and years older than my second cousins. I was alone in my age group within my extended family.

My adoptive parents were loving and provided me a stable home and safe place to grow up. And, the wisdom given to parents raising a child of a different race in those days was largely color blindness – to de-emphasize the uniqueness of the diversity of humankind by reinforcing the message that where you came from was not important, and that it should not be regarded as important now. While there are indeed shared human experiences across all ethnic groups, and key themes that should unite us as humans: Being Korean, which I am, was left in a neglected place.

And while my adoptive parents reinforced my personal value and worth, they did not know to educate themselves and learn more about where their son came from so they could share stories with him of his homeland.

I did not attend any adoptee camps growing up, nor did I learn anything of Korean culture, food, or language. My first exposure to something largely Korean was watching the 1988 Olympics on television. I learned what kimchi was in middle school, watching re-runs of M*A*S*H.

I do not believe the actions of my parents were malicious in anyway, but the silence in the deep place is felt, even as a child. Now in my 40s, I recently mentioned adding kimchi to my fried rice recipe. My adopted mother, now nearing her 80s, asked in all earnestness, “What’s kimchi?”

For years, well into adulthood, I shut the door to the unfamiliar place to preserve myself, and become somehow, not Korean. But the door could never be fully closed, and only by reopening it in my adult years after college and into married life have I realized the vastness of the place this has taken up in my heart.

As a dad to two wonderful children, now both in their teenage years, it has been eye-opening to me to listen and watch them identify openly and proudly as Korean, something that was silent for me well into adulthood. Their vibrance for life and their curiosity into their ethnic heritage made me realize that the undiscovered places within me needed to be explored and appreciated in a new way. I want them to see their dad grow and explore what it means to know yourself in a healthy way.

I have always been curious and love learning new things. I know that one of the best ways to learn is to immerse yourself in the subject matter. Any standing internal ambivalence about the leap evaporates when you take a dive.

With the economic consequences of COVID lockdowns to my personal finances, I thought any trip would be years out, even though the desire burned bright.

A trip to Korea represents the opportunity to dive into the deep, unfamiliar place within my heart and experience the richness of my heritage.

I have never been back to Korea. I don’t know who my birth family is. I don’t know any Korean language. I know little about Korean culture.

For me, my family, and my legacy: Let’s go explore Korea. Let’s meet the Korean people.

The land of my birth, the roots of my family, the place where past and present kiss and propel me into the future.

Unfamiliar places should not stay unfamiliar.

Korea, the Motherland. Deep in my heart, forever on my mind.

A deeply personal episode - Brian was selected to travel to Korea, his Motherland. He has never been back since his adoption. How do these friends unpack this conversation about the pre-trip anticipation? What do adoptees experience in the formation of identity?

Why do we get clarity when we get some distance from the driving action of an event? What is the benefit of listening to others in your situation? Whose words are big in your ears?

What relationship complements your dynamic? Who makes you better in the different areas of life? Why do you value that person?

Why do we find it awkward to start new conversations? How do you draw people out in conversation? What do you do to stay curious about people? 

Josh’s solo episode riffs on this topic and how games provide a cathartic oasis for his introvert soul. 

What is your recharge point?

How do your closest relationships support you in your recharge?

Do you remember your dreams? Or even talk about them? Has there ever been a dream you felt was a real connection to something outside your reality?

"This episode is special to me (Josh) because I love dreams and talking about them. I personally hope this is one of many conversations about this topic."  

Do you actively disrupt your status quo on a regular basis? What do you do when disruption comes? What tools do you use when navigating to the new thing?

Do you plan to take time off? Whether to take time away from your normal or to redirect energy, taking time off isn't "easy" and it doesn't "just happen." In this episode, we talk about what it takes from a logistics point of view to plan to take time off or to renew your efforts.

Hey everyone, Josh here! Had an idea for this solo episode and wanted to record it and get it out there for your enjoyment.

Are we as people wired to reflect at certain ages and see what’s what? Join me as I talk about this and discuss.

Brian bravely steps into rediscovering roots in a far memory and a present reality.

Looking back as an adult to formative years, what do you dwell on? Are there things you want to understand more? Who are you now because if those experiences?

(Part 2) Two Small Coins founders Erin and Jill go deeper into what practical help and care looks like for widows and share how you can be part of the solution.

Coming out of the gates, TSC is getting ready to fill 100 Christmas stockings for widows, showing care for the caregivers during the holiday season. Who do you know would be blessed by such a gift? Please share their name with Erin and Jill by visiting their website.

ABOUT TWO SMALL COINS

Two Small Coins is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization passionate about providing caring support to younger widows through practical helps, meaningful gifts, and relational connectedness in one of life's most trying situations.

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What would you do if your person suddenly passed away in the middle of raising a family? What would you do?

A special interview with the founders of Two Small Coins, Erin and Jill. Theirs is a friendship forged in shared suffering, and a shared heart to care for other widows in the midst of their flow of life.

Click here to connect with Two Small Coins

TSC Instagram  |  TSC Facebook

(Part 1) What would you do if your person suddenly passed away in the middle of raising a family? What would you do?

A special interview with the founders of Two Small Coins, Erin and Jill. Theirs is a friendship forged in shared suffering, and a shared heart to care for other widows in the midst of their flow of life.

ABOUT TWO SMALL COINS

Two Small Coins is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization passionate about providing caring support to younger widows through practical helps, meaningful gifts, and relational connectedness in one of life's most trying situations.

Coming out of the gates, TSC is getting ready to fill 100 Christmas stockings for widows, showing care for the caregivers during the holiday season. Who do you know would be blessed by such a gift? Please share their name with Erin and Jill by visiting their website.

Click here to connect with Two Small Coins

TSC Instagram  |  TSC Facebook

In this short episode, Josh takes a brief moment to pause and reflect on the last year and what that has meant for him. He also asks a simple question of you. 

Have you ever wondered if what you say is worthy to be heard? Even worthy to be spoken? Drill down into some of the situations and circumstances that make people feel they are or aren't worthy to be heard. We pull on some threads from the past and present to put this into context to start thinking about this dynamic topic in a new way.

How does the next generation see things? Can they adapt and meet the demands of the future? What's on their minds?

Are you verbose or to to the point with your words? How have you used silence to your advantage in terms of impact and outcome in a conversation? How do you listen when others are speaking? Do you speak up when you need to? How has this benefitted you?

Now more than ever, contextual awareness is key to understanding things.

How did things end up this way? Do you know why something is the way it is? Do you ask about the driving action of a situation? 

Have you noticed somebody's confidence to answer definitively does not actually match reality? Where have you noticed the gap the most? How would you fix it?

Context is key in properly perceiving and understanding people and the world around us. Listen to this conversation about Contextual Awareness, with a special guest intro by Sabrina.

You are Mario, waiting to time your jump across moving platforms at different times. Only forward, never back, or else that's the game. What do you do to time your jumps through life? When was a time you missed the jump? When did you land a big jump you didn't know would happen? How have you helped others jump?

Did you play Super Mario Bros. for the original Nintendo Entertainment System?

Do you like to tinker with things or leave it be? What are the most effective ways you have found to iterate and innovate things in your life? In what situations are you in the majority not wanting to listen to a sole voice, and in what situations are you the sole voice in contrast to the majority?

Do you overcomplicate things? Who do you know that can clearly and concisely convey thoughts and direction masterfully? Why should we care about such things?

Do you fear being wrong? What happens when we don't learn from it? How do you treat others when they are wrong?

Why do we need to modify models in the real world? What do you do to adapt something to make it practically work? How do you approach adaptation in your life and career? What's an example in your life of the impact of the iteration of the model?