Curiosity Continuum

How do you become aware of new creative possibilities? How do you deal with them? What do you do to adapt your expertise when the possibilities intersect with you?

(Slight audio weirdness on this one, but still great content!)

How do you become aware of new possibilities? How do you deal with it?

What do you do to adapt your expertise when the possibilities intersect with you? What do you do with it?

Special Edition: Originally a live stream to YouTube and Facebook on February 11, 2024, Brian gets deeply personal on how his first trip back to Korea impacted him.

Brian shares original writings, personal insights, and messages to other adoptees and parents of adoptees.

The livestream happened the same day as Super Bowl LVIII and Seollal, the Korean Lunar New Year. Of course, two worlds coming together at once on the same day.

From Brian: Thanks for patiently waiting as we worked out the kinds today! The technical issues made me neglect to address this - Brian, you were solo today. What happened to your co-host, Esther Shin MacIntosh?

We had to change format last minute due to sickness. Join me in praying for a speedy recovery for her. And, fear not! We will plan a reschedule of some kind and let you know. First time/this time - One Korean. Second time/next time - Two Koreans. You all just don't know what you're getting yourselves into

 

#korea #koreanadoptee #internationaladoption #identity #ethnicidentity

Do you have a special skill from childhood that you didn't fully understand until adulthood? What did you use to refine it? When did you realize it all?

The question to a highly successful, recently retired sales leader: What practices do you see modern sales teams lacking that would turn them from average to stellar?

Special thanks to Randy for his decades of friendship and generosity with his time and wisdom!

Proactive vs. Reactive

Creators vs. Consumers

Timeframe from Contract to Close

Part 2 of Brian's Korea trip updates. Brian talks about what it meant to reconnect with his foster mom from 43 years ago.

A more personal episode, Brian shares how his first time back to his Motherland stood out in his mind and how it changed him.

How long can you sustain your current pace? When/how do you recharge to be at your best? Why are you at your current pace? What would happen if you just stopped doing some things?

Brian shares a poignant metaphorical essay on dealing with the many pieces of identity.

The Harmony of Identity

In Western music, there are only 12 notes. These 12 notes, in combinations and patterns, expressed over time, speak a language of the soul in words not formed with syllables.

The richness and color of music comes not solely from melody, which is a single progression of notes, but from harmony, where two or more notes come together to create a combined sound at the same time. The space between these notes shapes how the harmony sounds, or the tonality. This tonality is unique to that group of notes and defines the character of that sound.

Simple or complex, it resonates.

But did you know that the best sounding harmonies are based on a series of compromises? If you listen to a well-tuned piano, each individual note is not perfectly in tune to the exactness of its actual pitch. If it was, the instrument would sound strident and harsh and would not make you think of music. To make this instrument sound musical, a skilled piano tuner (as in, a human being) will start with one pitch, generally middle C, and tune that note to the calibration point, which is often a tuning fork that resonates only at that specific frequency. From there, the piano tuner will temper the tuning of the surrounding notes to that starting note. Meaning, they will adjust the tuning of other notes to resonate in context with the other notes to sound pleasant, not perfect.

So what of identity?

We do not choose the starting notes of our identity we are given in this life. Too often, we strive to hide or diminish a note, thinking it does not, or should not, belong. We may overplay a single note at the expense of our own dimensionality. Or, we try to make perfect each individual note and only end up in internal dissonance.

When in truth, all these notes together makes us special.

Whether close or far apart, those seemingly conflicting parts of us give us character. It’s a messy work of compromise and tempering, and a constant need to tune. But in the outworking, we find peace within the process of making the many notes within us, resonate together in imperfect harmony.

By what measure are you calibrating your starting pitch of identity?

How have you tempered the individual notes in your identity to craft your unique sound?

What harmony of identity resonates from you?

How are your passions intertwined with your economic activities? What do you want to shift in proportions in your activities in a given week? When was the last time you re-evaluated what you've been doing?

Does the first person with the idea, win? Have you ever had an idea that was just not right, right now? Why do those who see it second succeed?

Brian shares the emotionally candid essay that he submitted as part of his application for his trip to Seoul, South Korea.

THE ESSAY

Korea – An Unfamiliar Place, Deep Within My Heart

My story, like many Korean adoptees of the 1980s, started with an orphanage, Korean foster care, and a plane ride before arriving stateside in the USA.

I grew up as a Korean adoptee in a small town in central Minnesota, as the only child in the family to older parents. Both my parents were the youngest of their siblings, and the timing of my adoption meant I was years younger than all my first cousins, and years older than my second cousins. I was alone in my age group within my extended family.

My adoptive parents were loving and provided me a stable home and safe place to grow up. And, the wisdom given to parents raising a child of a different race in those days was largely color blindness – to de-emphasize the uniqueness of the diversity of humankind by reinforcing the message that where you came from was not important, and that it should not be regarded as important now. While there are indeed shared human experiences across all ethnic groups, and key themes that should unite us as humans: Being Korean, which I am, was left in a neglected place.

And while my adoptive parents reinforced my personal value and worth, they did not know to educate themselves and learn more about where their son came from so they could share stories with him of his homeland.

I did not attend any adoptee camps growing up, nor did I learn anything of Korean culture, food, or language. My first exposure to something largely Korean was watching the 1988 Olympics on television. I learned what kimchi was in middle school, watching re-runs of M*A*S*H.

I do not believe the actions of my parents were malicious in anyway, but the silence in the deep place is felt, even as a child. Now in my 40s, I recently mentioned adding kimchi to my fried rice recipe. My adopted mother, now nearing her 80s, asked in all earnestness, “What’s kimchi?”

For years, well into adulthood, I shut the door to the unfamiliar place to preserve myself, and become somehow, not Korean. But the door could never be fully closed, and only by reopening it in my adult years after college and into married life have I realized the vastness of the place this has taken up in my heart.

As a dad to two wonderful children, now both in their teenage years, it has been eye-opening to me to listen and watch them identify openly and proudly as Korean, something that was silent for me well into adulthood. Their vibrance for life and their curiosity into their ethnic heritage made me realize that the undiscovered places within me needed to be explored and appreciated in a new way. I want them to see their dad grow and explore what it means to know yourself in a healthy way.

I have always been curious and love learning new things. I know that one of the best ways to learn is to immerse yourself in the subject matter. Any standing internal ambivalence about the leap evaporates when you take a dive.

With the economic consequences of COVID lockdowns to my personal finances, I thought any trip would be years out, even though the desire burned bright.

A trip to Korea represents the opportunity to dive into the deep, unfamiliar place within my heart and experience the richness of my heritage.

I have never been back to Korea. I don’t know who my birth family is. I don’t know any Korean language. I know little about Korean culture.

For me, my family, and my legacy: Let’s go explore Korea. Let’s meet the Korean people.

The land of my birth, the roots of my family, the place where past and present kiss and propel me into the future.

Unfamiliar places should not stay unfamiliar.

Korea, the Motherland. Deep in my heart, forever on my mind.

A deeply personal episode - Brian was selected to travel to Korea, his Motherland. He has never been back since his adoption. How do these friends unpack this conversation about the pre-trip anticipation? What do adoptees experience in the formation of identity?

Why do we get clarity when we get some distance from the driving action of an event? What is the benefit of listening to others in your situation? Whose words are big in your ears?

What relationship complements your dynamic? Who makes you better in the different areas of life? Why do you value that person?

Why do we find it awkward to start new conversations? How do you draw people out in conversation? What do you do to stay curious about people? 

Josh’s solo episode riffs on this topic and how games provide a cathartic oasis for his introvert soul. 

What is your recharge point?

How do your closest relationships support you in your recharge?

Do you remember your dreams? Or even talk about them? Has there ever been a dream you felt was a real connection to something outside your reality?

"This episode is special to me (Josh) because I love dreams and talking about them. I personally hope this is one of many conversations about this topic."  

Do you actively disrupt your status quo on a regular basis? What do you do when disruption comes? What tools do you use when navigating to the new thing?

Do you plan to take time off? Whether to take time away from your normal or to redirect energy, taking time off isn't "easy" and it doesn't "just happen." In this episode, we talk about what it takes from a logistics point of view to plan to take time off or to renew your efforts.

Hey everyone, Josh here! Had an idea for this solo episode and wanted to record it and get it out there for your enjoyment.

Are we as people wired to reflect at certain ages and see what’s what? Join me as I talk about this and discuss.